Looking Forward

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 Hello!

Lately, I've been thinking a lot about my childhood. It wasn't all rose gold, but there was a lot less stress. I didn't have to think about bills or the state of the world or having a job yet. Things were simple.

I remember when I first noticed that something was wrong. I think it was about 2011 and there was something different. A darkening of the air. A sense of foreboding that heralded adulthood. A few years later, my state was devastated by wildfires. My home was spared, but we lost a few sheds and the ground was black. It looked like Mordor from The Lord of the Rings. 

I mention all of this because we look back and idealize the past. We tend to forget the bad and just remember the good. The grass is greener in the past. Or so we think. 

But the past has its cracks and its weeds. It's not what we think it was.

 I'm learning that instead of looking forward with hope and joy, I'm idolizing my past. It's blown way out of proportion, so I dwell in it. I just want to stay there in the happy memories.

When I'm tempted to stay in the past, I give in to complacency. I give up the fight for the joys of tomorrow. Yes, there were good things in the past, but I don't live there anymore. I'm in the here and now, and I have to fight for it.

So, it's one step forward. Maybe two. A little at a time, holding my hands out. Believing that there are good things in my future. That there is joy as well as sorrow and that joy is worth fighting for. It's worth looking forward. 



Until next time...

Julia Garcia / Arysta Henry

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