Walking in Wonder

 

Hello!

 *gives tired little wave*

I honestly didn't know if or when I would ever come back to this blog. 

It's been a hard, exhausting set of months. My mental health tanked badly. I thought about this blog often. I would sometimes open the page to write a post and stare blankly, begging my mind to pour something forth. To connect. To do something. But brains don't work that way. Sometimes they need a reset.

That being said, I do have a little bit of plan going forward so you'll see me around, just maybe not as often as in the past. I'm still recovering.

During my break, I've been doing a fair amount of reading, creating (I finished two crocheted blankets and have taken up painting with acrylics), and spending time with family. And yes. Writing has happened too. Just not as consistently as before. As one of my characters has yet to learn, most of the time you can't force inspiration to appear. It comes, but it has to find you working.

There's been lots of late night and early morning conversations between friends and counselors. Clearing out cobwebs and letting in sunshine. To quote Théoden in Lord of the Rings, "Dark have been my dreams of late..." But the sun is rising. Thoughts and ideas are starting to flow. I am learning how to be. 

To be... It sounds so simple, but yet, it's one of the most difficult things to learn. All of the hubbub, the rush and the go, the hurry-hurry of life does not give one the time needed to be. I would have a thought about my stories, or some flash of inspiration, but instead of allowing them to be stored in my memory, I'd hastily shove it aside thinking, "I don't have time for that. I must focus on my job. On real life stuff. That stuff is for children." And slowly, but surely, my sense of wonder was dying. I've never felt so unlike myself as I have these last eighteen months. 

I'm coming out of it though. I realized this weekend that finally, I can think clearly again. I'm learning to be. To slow down and to allow my thoughts to process. To store away bits of inspiration. Things that aren't focused on work or other "real life stuff". 

Here's the thing. There is work and there is wonder. You can have both, and it's healthy to have both. There shouldn't be either one or the other. It's important to ponder. To wonder and let that wonder expand within you, filling your heart and mind with dreams and hope. That's what the best stories are made of: hope and wonder. Light in the darkness. Stars in a galaxy. Take time to cultivate that wonder. It may be one of the most important things you do.

 Until next time...

-Julia Garcia / Arysta Henry