Friendship is Love

 

Hello!

    Today I want to talk to you about one of my favorite subjects: friendship. I know I may be the odd one out talking about friendship in February when everyone else has Valentine's Day on their mind, but hear me out. 

    True friendship is love too. It's not the romantic kind, but it's just as important.

     Love lets someone know they matter to you. Love is being patient with a friend that may be insecure and pester you night and day. Love is being kind, even when your friend is not. Love is not jealous of your friend when he or she is doing something that you really want to do, or is in a relationship and you are not. Love is not prideful. It's preferring someone over yourself and encouraging someone, even when you're not having a good day yourself. Love is not ripping someone apart. It isn't backstabbing the person or gossiping about the person behind their back. Love is selfless. It thinks about the good of others. Love puts aside agenda. When someone angers you, that means you don't respond in kind. And that is super hard. Love doesn't keep a record of wrongs. There is no tally system of how many times your friend has been a disappointment or hurt you. Love loves unconditionally. Love doesn't smirk or rejoice when someone that was mean to you is getting their comeuppance. Love looks out for someone else.

    I know all of this seems hard, and frankly, it's not what we are being taught by pop-culture and its message of self-love. But it's important. 

    I'm not perfect at this type of love. I fail more often than I like. It's become harder and harder to be a friend when so many of my friends are in quarantine, in a different state, across the world, have a different ideology than me, or have hurt me with their words and/or actions, but does that mean I should give up on them? By no means. Because that is not what friendship is. That's not what love is.

    So, how can we be a friend to someone in the world of 2021 when more often than not, the world is chaotic; we don't feel like it, and we may live far away? 

Here are some ideas:

• Send a good old-fashioned card or letter. Honestly, the fact that you took your time to sit down and write someone can mean the world to someone. It's a HUGE sign that they matter to you.
• Send an email, text, or message. I know some of you may be in quarantine yourself, or perhaps cannot afford to send a card. This is something you can do from your house.
• Call someone. I've talked to several people who have been in quarantine for a long time. They are starved for social interaction. They feel alone and sad. A phone call where they can hear your voice can mean the world to someone.
• If the person isn't allergic to flowers and you can afford them, send them some flowers. 
• If you like hiking and are in an area in which you can do this, this is a great way to hang out with a friend. If you are in an area that requires social distancing, you can still do that and hang out.

    These are just a few ways that you can be a friend to someone and show them that they matter, but there are more. Lots more. 

    One of my favorite sections of scripture is Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 which says, "Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil.  For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up!  Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken."

    I know I shared this section of scripture last year around this time, but it is so important that I thought I'd share it with you again. We are not made to live alone, friends. If you or someone that you know is feeling alone today, reach out to another person. Don't wait for another person to realize what is going on in your life. Make the jump and reach out. The person who you contact may be going through the same thing and you never know how encouraging and uplifting it can be to someone that you reach out to. The thing about encouragement is that it's reciprocal. It comes back around like a boomerang. If you encourage someone, that encouragement is going to come back around to you. 

    Love and love boldly. 

Wishing you all the best,

-Julia Garcia / Arysta Henry