When I Don't Understand

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Hello,

I know this is highly irregular for me to be posting for a third time this month, but a lot has happened in the world as I'm sure you all know.

I don't think there is one person who isn't affected by the virus that has circled the world.
 I'm not sure how long it will last, but I know everything has an end and this can't last forever.

 I don't understand what is going on, why people are acting the way they are, other than that they're scared. I get it. I'm scared too.

About a month ago, one of my uncles died suddenly.  My dad got a phone call that he was in the hospital and was passing quickly. He died within hours.

I'll admit that I didn't know how to process it. Until then, we had assumed he was fine. We didn't even know he was sick.
 I was at work when I found out and tried to keep it together, but the tears came. I left work and came home with a heavy heart.

The following day, I had another shift at work. I don't process emotion well. I either stuff it and try to tough it out, or just let it out all at once. After damming it the day before, I cried, and I cried hard.
 I cried out to God and asked Him why He would take my uncle. I didn't understand, but I knew God did.

Through tears, God put this poem on my heart and mind. Poetry has always been a way for me to work through what I feel when my feelings are tangled. I wasn't going to post it here because it's very personal for me, but I feel and hope that it will be of some help to you.

[ When I don't understand,
  Will you take my hand?
 'Cause God I'm blind
 and I can barely stand.

 Father, why?
 I can't comprehend,
 I know You have a plan,
But my mind can't understand.

 Pain is real,
 and these tears don't lie.
 I'm lost inside my mind,
 and can't function.

 Jesus, I don't understand,
 but I know You do,
 help me to trust in all that You do,
 I know there's a reason for this.

 I'm tired, and I can barely open my eyes,
 Water falls forth and I'm tired of this disguise.
 Trying to be strong, weak inside,
 Walls falling down, and I'm crumbling now.

 Spirit be my Comforter,
 Be my Strength,
 Hold up my head,
 Strengthen my heart,
 When I don't understand]


I don't have the answers, but I know the One who does.



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