When I Don't Understand

By




Hello,

I know this is highly irregular for me to be posting for a third time this month, but a lot has happened in the world as I'm sure you all know.

I don't think there is one person who isn't affected by the virus that has circled the world.
 I'm not sure how long it will last, but I know everything has an end and this can't last forever.

 I don't understand what is going on, why people are acting the way they are, other than that they're scared. I get it. I'm scared too.

About a month ago, one of my uncles died suddenly.  My dad got a phone call that he was in the hospital and was passing quickly. He died within hours.

I'll admit that I didn't know how to process it. Until then, we had assumed he was fine. We didn't even know he was sick.
 I was at work when I found out and tried to keep it together, but the tears came. I left work and came home with a heavy heart.

The following day, I had another shift at work. I don't process emotion well. I either stuff it and try to tough it out, or just let it out all at once. After damming it the day before, I cried, and I cried hard.
 I cried out to God and asked Him why He would take my uncle. I didn't understand, but I knew God did.

Through tears, God put this poem on my heart and mind. Poetry has always been a way for me to work through what I feel when my feelings are tangled. I wasn't going to post it here because it's very personal for me, but I feel and hope that it will be of some help to you.

[ When I don't understand,
  Will you take my hand?
 'Cause God I'm blind
 and I can barely stand.

 Father, why?
 I can't comprehend,
 I know You have a plan,
But my mind can't understand.

 Pain is real,
 and these tears don't lie.
 I'm lost inside my mind,
 and can't function.

 Jesus, I don't understand,
 but I know You do,
 help me to trust in all that You do,
 I know there's a reason for this.

 I'm tired, and I can barely open my eyes,
 Water falls forth and I'm tired of this disguise.
 Trying to be strong, weak inside,
 Walls falling down, and I'm crumbling now.

 Spirit be my Comforter,
 Be my Strength,
 Hold up my head,
 Strengthen my heart,
 When I don't understand]


I don't have the answers, but I know the One who does.



[

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

NaNoWriMo Know Your Novel Introduction

By
Image
This is my first time joining the wonderful  Christine Smith  and a bunch of other wonderful writers in her three-month Know the Novel link-up for writers in these final months of the year. I'm completely nervous, having never done anything like this before, but also very excited.  October's theme is  Introduction  which is the post featured today.  Earlier this month I announced that for the months of October and November I would be switching projects from Harbinger  to Tear   in honor of NaNoWriMo, using this month to prepare. So without further ado, let me introduce you to my novel. KNOW THE NOVEL: PART ONE: INTRODUCTION Q 1. What first sparked the idea for this novel? A 1. Well, most of my novel ideas, (no pun intended), come from questions. I had this question pop into my head, "Where does Writer's Block come from?" This story was born out of the quirky answer that I came up with. Q 2. Share a blurb! A 2. I warn you this is an ...
Read more

NaNoWriMo Know the Novel: Introduction

By
Image
I can't believe it's already this time of the year again. Last year I joined Christine Smith   in her three-month Know the Novel link-up. This link-up starts the month before NaNoWriMo and goes through December. If you've been following this blog for more than a year, you'll recognize this series from last year. If you just started following me or are visiting this blog: Welcome! I'm so glad you're here. This month's theme is Introduction  and sets up the groundwork for what I'm doing today.  I've mentioned Harbinger  before. It's a WIP I've been working on for almost six years now. Over the summer I've decided to split it in three books, so now it's the Harbinger Trilogy. The working title for book one is called Sirens of Fate,  and it's this book I will work on for NaNoWriMo. I'm rebelling NaNo, meaning instead of doing this writing challenge traditionally and starting a book from scratch on November 1st, I'm using the c...
Read more

NaNoWriMo: Know the Novel Link-Up: Introduction

By
Image
  *Happy squeak!* I am so excited to be joining  Christine Smith  in her Know the Novel link-up for writers in this festive season of the year. What festive season, you may ask? Why, NaNoWriMo season, of course! *Flings glitter.* Many years ago, I did my first NaNo and started my wild ride or writing and an intense commitment to the craft that has lasted until this very day. (Hopefully it doesn't end here. That would be tragic, and while I do love a good tragedy, I would like for my life not to be tragic. Thank you very much.) *Pull self out of hole she fell in.* Ahem.... Where were we? Oh yes. The link-up. Moving forward. October is the month where we introduce our NaNoWriMo projects to the world, so in the spirit of that, here is my introduction post. KNOW THE NOVEL PART ONE: INTRODUCTION: Introducing: Drop , book #2 of my Drops of Inspira trilogy. Q 1: What first sparked the idea for this novel? A: I actually featured the first book for this link-up series a few years...
Read more